Bleed it Out
by NaruGaaFan
Summary: When Naruto saved Gaara from the darkness during the chuunin exams, he kind of made things worse. Can naruto go back and correct his mistake without Gaara reverting to his old self or will he just have to let him stay the way he is now? Naruto/Gaara fans
1. Chapter 1

**Bleed it Out**

Disclaimer: I don not own Naruto in any way shape or form. Masashi Kishimoto owns it all.

Warning: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, Lemons …I have no idea what else there is.

* * *

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note

* * *

Chapter 1

A smile tugged at my lips as I dug the kunai deep into my wrist. I watched with my dull eyes as the blood dripped off of my wrist and hit the bathroom floor. I pulled the kunai out and dug it into another spot on my wrist and then drug it along my skin. I smiled once I finished, "Time to get cleaned up," I said to myself knowing that no one would be listening.

I stood up and turned the shower on to hot. The hot water stung my back, but I didn't turn it onto cool. I deserved to be punished, I was a bloodthirsty demon and I deserved any punishment that I could get. I felt my eyes getting heavy and before I blacked out I realized that I had cut myself too much. _'Shit.'_

_

* * *

_

As Gaara fell into the tub his hand knocked off the plug. The water that was pouring down from the shower quickly filled and went over the redhead's head.

"Gaara we're back," I called out to my younger brother, even though I wasn't expecting an answer.

"He's not going to answer," Kankuro said with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah I know, but…" I began said.

"Is the water running?" Kankuro asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah it is, he is probably taking a shower, but I want to go check on him," I said, as I put the groceries on the counter and began climbing the stairs.

"Whatever," Kankuro said and is distantly heard him start putting groceries away.

I had a bad feeling about what I was going to find and that feeling just got worse when I opened his door. The entire floor was soaked. I gasped as I ran on the door and frantically began knocking on the bathroom door.

"Gaara, Gaara, open this door right now!" I yelled pounding on the door. I wasn't mad at my baby brother, I was just worried sick.

I opened the door and found the bathtub overflowing.

"Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!!" I yelled as I ran over and pulled him out of the tub. _'Shit, his chest is barely moving.'_

"Come on Gaara this isn't funny wake up!" I yelled, as tears began building up in my eyes.

"Kankuro! Kankuro! KANKURO!!!" I yelled.

"Temari I heard you the first time." He said as he rounded the corner.

Tears streamed down my cheeks.

"What the fuck it's all wet, what did Gaara do?!" He demanded glaring at our younger brother.

"Kankuro, if you haven't noticed he's kind of dying, so stop blaming everything on him and get fucking help!!!" I yelled at him.

"Fine," he muttered as he walked off to go get help.

"HURRY!!!" I yelled.

I distantly heard his footsteps began to pick up. _'I know he doesn't particularly like Gaara, but I don't want to loose either of them.'_

"Come on Gaara, don't give up on me," I whispered.

The door slammed open and the next thing I knew my baby brother was being token away. '_At least he'll get help.'_

* * *

A/N: Well that's it hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always appreciated. And I still haven't stopped on Kidnapped for those of you who have read that too, this was just an idea that popped into my head and I wrote it. Thanks! : D


	2. Chapter 2

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, Lemons.

* * *

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note

* * *

Chapter 2

"Hello, Naruto is anyone in there?" Sakura asked waving her hand in front of my face.

I shook myself out of my thoughts and smiled at her. "Of course there's someone in there, I'm just the same old Naruto."

"Then how come you were totally zoning out a minute ago?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Do you want me to give you an honest answer?"

"Of course I do, why wouldn't I?" She asked.

"Well, do you remember Gaara?" I asked really not expecting her to remember his name.

"Yeah, how could I forget, he's the one that got Sasuke back for us after you passed out." She said with a slight frown.

'_That's right he did, didn't he? He also explained to us that Sasuke hadn't really left on his own free will and that he was just being controlled.'_

"Right I completely forgot about that." I said giving her a sheepish grin.

"Anyway, what does this have to do with Gaara?" She asked after shaking her head at my stupidity.

"Well …I can't stop thinking about him." A blush tinted my cheeks.

Sakura smirked and I gave her a blank stare. "Naruto …I think you're in love."

"Wha-what?!" A huge blush crept across my cheeks.

"You heard me and look you're even blushing." She stated.

'_Damn she had me, even I was pretty sure I loved him.' _"Ok, Yeah I think I love him too." See I just admitted it.

I looked over at Sasuke; he was just standing there with a smirk on his face.

"What are you smirking at? You're the one who is in love with his brother!" I yelled at him.

Sasuke blushed and turned away and Sakura just busted out laughing. Sakura stopped having a crush on Sasuke soon after we got him back and we all just started having a brother sister relationship with each other. Our brother sister relationship isn't like Sasuke's 'cause he actually loves his brother. Come to think of it we had no idea who Sakura had a crush on.

"Naruto-san!" Lee shouted as he sprinted over to us. I turned around and looked at him. _'Funny, Lee actually looks serious.'_

_

* * *

_

"What is it Lee?" I asked.

"Tsunade-sama wants to see you in her office." He said.

"Whatever, see you guys later." I said waving goodbye to them.

'_What the hell could that old lady want?'_

* * *

A/N: Yeah I know really short chapters, but I refuse to write longer ones until I get at least one review. Other than that it was good right? Well leave me reviews and tell me what you like and didn't like about. Hopefully there are more like than didn't likes, but constructive criticism is always appreciated. And there should be absolutely no complaining about how it is yaoi 'cause this is for Naru/Gaa fans.


	3. Chapter 3

Bleed it Out

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note.

Chapter 3

"What do you want Tusnade-baachan?" I asked looking T HER.

"Well, it's not so much that I want something, it's just that they want something." She stated pointing over near the wall.

I looked over there and sure enough there were people there. _'Good I thought they were going to be monkeys. Although it would've been pretty cool if they were monkeys.'_

"Hey why the heck are you glaring at me?!" I demanded.

The girl with blond hair stepped forward and yanked me up by the shirt. I'm guessing her goal was so we could eye to eye.

"Uzumaki, you made our brother start cutting himself." She growled out.

"Who are you again??" I looked at her questioningly.

"Gaara, you fucking asshole!!" She yelled.

"Gaara …wow you guys are his siblings you look nothing alike!" I began laughing. _'Why is she so angry again?' _**"You are such a moron." **_'Kyuu that's not nice.'_** "It may not be nice, but it is true." **_'Sometimes it's true.'_** "And now is one of those moments." **_'Fine.'_

"That's not what this is about!!!" She yelled.

"No need to take it out on me, it's not my fault you look nothing like your brother." I tried to shrug, but then remembered she was holding me up which I got to tell you was really getting on my nerves.

"Gaara has started cutting himself." She screamed. _'Oh shit …did I make him start doing that?'_

I licked my lips as sweat began sliding down my forehead. I was trying to build up the courage to ask her when he started doing that; I couldn't bear if I was the one who made him start doing that.

"When did he start?" I never realized how much I had truly fallen for the redhead until now, My voice was shaky and my heart was beating fast in my chest.

"Well we think he started doing it after the exams, but he won't talk to us, he keeps saying we wouldn't understand." She said letting me go.

"Do you think he'd talk to me?" '_Damn it voice get back to normal right now, I'm sick of you being so shaky.'_

"Probably," She sounded a little irritated.

"Well where is he." I asked.

"In this hospital." She muttered

"Ok then." Not even waiting for a reply I hopped out the window and ran off to the hospital.

"Hell Naruto-san, what can we do for you today?" The nurse asked with a polite smile.

"I'd like to see Gaara." I gave her the polite smile back.

She gave me a questioning look. "Third floor, the door at the end of the hall."

"Thank you." I said and began to climb up the stairs,

I swallowed hard from the other side of the door, Gaara was in this room and I needed to talk to him. The question was would I be able to or would my voice be retarded again.

I licked my lips and swallowed one more time before swinging the door open.

* * *

I sighed as I stared out the window. My siblings had found out about me cutting myself and now Temari was worried sick. _'Damn it, I hadn't meant to make her worry.'_ I was just trying to make myself feel alive again.

Naruto had saved me from the darkness and I was forever grateful to him for that, but now that I wasn't killing anyone that might hurt me emotionally I didn't feel anything at all. Cutting myself made me feel physical pain which in turn made me feel alive. Yeah I know, not exactly the best way to pay him back for what he did.

'_They took my knives away … does that mean they don't want me to feel alive? I suppose I could always break the window and use a shard from that to do the work…'_

I stood up from the bed despite the direct orders to not move and walked over to the window. _'All I have to do is hope they don't come back.'_

I tested the glass, it was pretty strong, but if I just focus a little bit of chakra into my fist I can punch through it with no problem, but that wouldn't work as well so I'll do it the other way.

All I have to do for the other way to work is place my hand on the glass and make my chakra crack the glass, then I poke out a piece and I have a new weapon. The door swung open and I immediately turned around.

'_Oh shit caught in the act, but not by who I was expecting.'_

"Gaara what are you doing?" He asked his eyes narrowing.

"Just getting a good look out the window, w-what else would I do?" I gave him a smile.

"You were trying to break the window weren't you? Damn it Gaara there are other ways to feel alive." He yelled trying to hide the hurt in his eyes.

'_I just did it again; I hurt another one of my precious people. Do I really deserve to be alive?'_

"I'm sorry Naruto, but …I …just don't know… what to …do." I looked at the ground; ashamed of myself.

"Fine then, stay in Konoha and I promise, I'll make you feel alive." He said with a big grin on his face.

I gave him a skeptical look. _'What can he possibly have in mind? I'm such a loser there's probably nothing that can fix me.'_

His grin grew bigger when I gave him the skeptical look. It was as if he knew what I was thinking. Then he proved why most people said he was the ninja who just keeps throwing you surprises. He kissed me, he kissed the monster.

* * *

A/N: And that is all, I hope you enjoyed it. If there is anything you'd like to happen or if you have any suggestions just leave them in a review. I won't start writing the new chapter until I get at least one review on this one.

A/N: And to any of you who are reading this and Kidnapped I'm still working on it just Naruto/Gaara is easier for me to write than an Itachi/Sasuke fanfiction where someone get kidnapped. I'm not saying I don't like Itachi/Sasuke, I'm just saying this is easier to write.

A/N: Thanks and see you next time I update which depending on you might be a while or it might be really soon, it's all on you guys. Ja.


	4. Chapter 4

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'_Thoughts'_

"**Demons Talking"**

'_Flashbacks'_

'_**Dreams'**_

"Talking"

A/N: Author's Note.

Chapter 4

My knees began shaking. _'I'm scared, but why am I so scared? I've always liked Naruto, but …why …why am I so scared now? I know I've always like Naruto in a greater way than just a friend, but why am I scared? I know why …he's just going to end up hurting me …that's all that ever happens …when people get close to me they betray me …that's how it always is.'_

'_I don't want to be hurt again!"_ I thought, desperately trying to pull away from the blond, but it was no use …the blond had an iron grip. My vision got blurry due to the tears that were building up in my eyes. The teats began falling down my cheeks, but I couldn't sob …Naruto's lips were covering up my mouth.

'_Why did I do this? Why did I kiss him? I know I've always liked him, but wasn't this a little too extreme a little too fast? He's shocked …that's not a surprise…'_

'_His eyes are filled with shock, probably, because he thinks of himself as a monster and he is surprised, because he didn't think anyone would want to kiss him.'_ The shock was quickly replaced with fear and sadness.

'_Why is he afraid? Why is he sad? …That's right …Gaara has had a harsh past, I want to be with him, but …he's afraid I'll hurt him …maybe he's even homophobic ...he might hate me now that he knows I'm gay.'_

A wave of sadness washed over me, as tears began falling down his cheeks. _'I hope he's crying, because he's thinking about his past. …It's not that I want him to cry …I would just feel better if I wasn't the one that made him cry.'_

I frowned and pulled away and he crumpled to the floor. Choked sobs broke the silence. I knelt down on the ground and pulled him into my lap, wrapping my arms around him.

"Its okay, Gaara everything will be fine I promise." I whispered, rocking him back and forth.

"Calm down …everything will be fine." I murmured quietly.

The sobs eventually faded and his breathing evened.

'_Well he's asleep, but …what should I do once he wakes up? …We can't really send him home yet and …I really want to help him. No …I need to help him …I need to find a way to help him feel alive, but how can I?' _**'Just spend time with him, let him know that even if you guy are away from each other that you'll always be there for him …and maybe even let him know that you love him." Kyuu said.**_ 'Wow Kyuu it sure has been a while since you last spoke to me…'_ A giggle was heard from the depths of my mind. **"That's just, because I've been thinking…" She muttered trailing off slightly at the end.** _'Thinking about what?' _**"About when you'll finally get together with your mate and have kits of your own." She said quietly.** _'Wha-what!?'_ She giggled again. _'Wait a minute …who's my mate?'_ **"Now that you'll have to figure out by yourself, but you're already on the right track."** She whispered quietly.

'_I guess I'll do what Kyuu suggested.'_ I thought, as I began running a hand through Gaara's hair.

A/N: That's all for now, sorry the chapter wasn't longer, but I couldn't think of any thing else to put in it. Sorry it's short and I hope you stick with it. I just had trouble coming up with ideas to put in it …so umm don't hate me and I hope you enjoyed it.


	5. Chapter 5

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note.

* * *

Chapter 5

I'm guessing about an hour had passed after Gaara had fallen asleep in my lap ad this position was really starting to get uncomfortable. I carefully lifted the redhead off of my lap and stood up. I was doing my best not to wake him up.

'_He looks so peaceful right now and I don't want to ruin that, if Gaara is in a peaceful slumber than he should be able to enjoy it. Speaking of which shouldn't the Shukaku be coming out?' _**"No the Shukaku knows that Gaara needs his rest right now."**

I set the redhead down on the bed and then laid down next to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"What the heck, I told you to fix his problem not steal his virginity!" Temari whisper yelled, as she walked into the room. (A/N: It's when you whisper in a yelling voice.)

'_What would make her think that?'_ **"Well I don't know maybe it's the fact that you have the covers pulled over you, or maybe the fact that you have your arms wrapped around him in a possessive embrace, or maybe it's the fact that you're a teenage boy."** I could totally just picture her rolling her eyes at me. _'Right …that.' _

I smiled at the angry older sister, but I think that just mad her angrier.

"I'll kill you Uzumaki." Temari threatened.

"I didn't take his virginity …but he did take mine." I said grinning.

"What!?" Temari yelled, her surprise getting the better of her. She quickly turned on her heel and fled the room, probably to get Kankuro to tell her that it wasn't true.

I couldn't help but to laugh. I looked down at the redhead, my mind instantly going back to when he had cried earlier. I still couldn't help, but wonder if I had made him cry. I bit my lip …if I had made him cry …what could I do to make it up to him? His eyes slowly opened, he blinked in surprise at where he was, probably, because I had my arms around him.

A tiny blush crept across his face and I'm guessing acting on instinct he buried his face into my chest. He quickly pulled away with an even bigger blush on his face. He turned away quickly, trying to hide his blush, but he was too late I already noticed.

"So, Gaara umm I was thinking that you could stay here, so I can help you." I whispered kind of embarrassed.

"Where would I stay?" He asked, still avoiding eye contact.

"Well …you'd stay at my apartment." I said quietly.

"O…k…" He whispered.

* * *

'_Where am I? …It's so warm.' _My eyes opened more and I realized where I was. I was in Naruto's arms, the person I had a crush on was holding me in his arms. I blinked in surprise and a tiny blush crept across my face. On instinct I buried my face into his chest. Blushing more, as I realized my mistake I quickly moved away from his chest. I couldn't get out of his grip; he was stronger than me, so I just settled with turning away embarrassed. I wanted to hide my blush from Naruto, but I have a feeling it was too late, he probably already saw it.

"So, Gaara umm I was thinking that you could stay here, so I can help you." The blond whispered in a embarrassed tone.

"Where would I stay?" I asked him, still avoiding eye contact, since I still had a deep blush on my cheeks. _'He wasn't expecting me to live on the streets was he?'_

"Well …you'd stay at my apartment." He replied quietly.

"O…k…" I whispered, not really knowing how I would answer that question in a different way.

I rested my head back on his chest and told him something. Something I thought I'd never tell another human being. _'I'll give you a chance Naruto …if you break my heart then that will be it …there won't be anymore petty cuts …I really will kill myself …I just can't take anymore heart ache.'_

"I love you, Uzumaki Naruto." I whispered quietly.

* * *

He rested his head back on my chest. He looked like he wanted to say something, he kept opening and closing his mouth, he was obviously really thinking about what he was going to say.

Then he said a word I thought he had long since forgotten the meaning of, and four other words.

"I love you, Uzumaki Naruto."

* * *

A/N: And that's the end of that chapter hope you liked it and remember I won't start the new chapter until I get at least one review, but if I get a lot of reviews then I might put aside one of my other stories to give you another chapter sooner rather than later.


	6. Chapter 6

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note.

* * *

Chapter 6

I swallowed nervously _'He loves me? ...What should I say back? Maybe this is a trick and he's going to catch it all on video and show it to my friends. No, that doesn't sound like something Gaara would do, does it? I don't want to hurt him, so I guess I'll say it back.'_ **"Oh, don't think that, as if you're unsure of your feeling you're in love with him and you know it." **_'But this may just be a faze that I am going through and when the faze is through I may just end up hurting him more by breaking up with him.'_ **"Love is not a faze."** _'But it could be a faze that makes me feel like I'm in love.' _**"There are no fazes that make you feel like you're in love, it's either you're in love or your not." **_'Well then maybe this is a faze that makes me like him a lot and I think it is love, because I have never experienced love before.'_ **"Don't forget I can feel your feelings and I've been in love with another demon before, so I know what this kind of love feels like, so you're in love."**

"I love you too," I whispered, as I began absent mindedly running my hand through his hair.

After what felt like hours he finally responded.

Expecting the worst I closed my eyes. "I love you too," I heard him whisper. Then he began running his hand through my hair.

I hadn't expected him to react that way let alone touch me. I cautiously wrapped my arms around him. _'What if he's just messing with me like everyone else has done. Yashamaru said he loved me and the tried to kill me and said he hated me. Kankuro said he loved me then he started listening to our father and began hating me. Temari says she loves me, but she's terrified of me. So how do I know Naruto won't be the same? I have serious trusting issues, I just told Naruto that I loved him and now I'm expecting him to break my heart …know wonder no one likes me._ **"You have a self loathing issue too, oh well I don't care, as long as you don't kill yourself."** I cringed, as I heard Shukaku's voice, but I just ignored him. **"Hey brat don't ignore me." **I felt a jolt of pain shoot through my body and I knew instantly that it was, because I had ignored the Shukaku. I quickly sat up and leaned over the bed. Just in time, the moment I leaned over the bed I threw blood up all over the floor.

I sat there shaking; pain was still racking my body. I heard the Shukaku laugh, **"This is what happens when you ignore me… did you learn from your mistake?"** "Yes…" I whispered out loud, as left over blood dripped from my chin. I heard the Shukaku laugh one more time, as the world faded from my sight.

* * *

I looked at Gaara's face; he seemed to be in a deep thought. He kept that thoughtful look for a while before he cringed. Pain and realization flashed through his eyes, as he immediately sat up and leaned over the bed. Almost as soon as he leaned over the bed he threw up blood all over the floor. He sat there shaking, I wanted to ask him if he was alright, but it was as if my mouth was glued shut. I swallowed.

"Yes…" He whispered, blood continuing to drip from his chin. He passed out and I quickly grabbed him, so he wouldn't fall into the puddle of blood near the bed.

I made a Kage Bunshin and sent it off to go get Tsunade. Just in case there was something wrong, now I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure people don't throw up blood on a regular basis.

Tsunade came in and her eyes immediately went to the blood on the floor.

"What happened?" She asked narrowing her eyes.

"He threw up blood…" I answered.

She rolled her eyes, as if she was expecting a detailed answer/ _'I don't read minds, I don't know what happened. Geez stupid Baachan.'_

"He's fine, I have no idea what made him do this, but this life isn't in danger." She told me.

I nodded and waited for the redhead to wake up.

* * *

A/N: So that's the end of the chapter, tell me what you thought of it in your reviews and the more reviews I get the quicker I update. ANd I just realized that the title of my story is the title of a Linkin Park Song.


	7. Chapter 7

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

* * *

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note.

* * *

Chapter 7

After Gaara had woken up we had to go to Tsunade's office so she could talk about what we could do with Gaara. Everyone acted like Gaara wasn't even in the room; Temari said she just wanted to bring Gaara home, because she thought I would just make the problem worse. Kankuro was insisting that we just keep Gaara, because, he didn't really want Gaara in Sunagakure anyway and Temari was yelling at him and telling him she didn't want that to happen. It was like I was caught in between a family feud; just I was the one who would be taking their brother away from them. Throughout this entire thing Gaara kept his head down and his eyes glued to the floor, never once did he look up.

"I will talk to whoever is in charge of your village and see what they want." She said. _'Great now this gets to stretch on for even longer.'_

"Until then Gaara will stay with Temari and Kankuro in the hotel room, I got for them." She said. Gaara didn't look up from the ground until Kankuro walked over to him and yanked him by the arm, almost making him fall face first on the ground. Kankuro let go of him, once he decided he had got his attention. Gaara managed to catch his balance and gave Kankuro the kicked puppy look, before rubbing his arm where there were already bruises forming.

"Naruto, you can go home now," Tsunade said, gesturing towards the door.

I nodded and headed towards the door, but stopped.

"Tsunade, if you are going to act like Gaara isn't even in the room when you talk and he is in the room, then don't bring him in the room, because you have no idea how much it hurts when you are there, but people act like you aren't." After saying that I turned around and left.

* * *

I listened to every single word they were saying about me, it was like I wasn't even in the room. I kept my head down and my eyes glued to the floor. I cringed, as my arm got yanked and I almost fell on the floor face first. He let go of my arm and I caught my balance. I gave him a look that probably resembled a kicked puppy. I rubbed my arm where there were already bruises starting to form.

I sat on the couch with Temari, she refused to let me be alone, but it didn't change anything I still had that feeling. I knew that Temari cared about me; she just didn't really pay attention to me. The only time I didn't feel completely alone was when I was with Naruto, because when I was with him, I didn't feel alone. Temari and Kankuro wouldn't allow Naruto to visit me, Temari said that it was bad luck and it might help him get me for a while and Kankuro didn't want him in, because he knew it would make me happy and his goal was to make my life miserable.

"Well I have to go buy some stuff, Kankuro spend time with Gaara." Temari said as she walked out the door.

I stared at Kankuro; he had a creepy smile on his face.

He grabbed a knife from on the table and walked towards me.

"Ready to spend some time together little brother?" He asked me keeping that creepy grin on his face.

I took a step away from him, Kankuro had hit me before, but he had never involved weapons. I stared at him and suddenly the grin didn't look so creepy anymore. I saw my father smiling at me as he walked towards me with a weapon. The cold eyes and the smile, Kankuro was acting like my father used to when I was younger…

He set the knife down and pulled out some chains.

"Come on Gaara lets play." He said.

He grabbed me and chained me to the wall. I stared at him. He had already stripped me of all of my clothes except my boxers. I stared at him as he picked up the knife again. The knife dug deep into my stomach, I couldn't stop the whimper of pain that escaped my lips.

He was carving a word into my stomach and when he finished I looked down and I felt my heart break a little more. He had carved the Japanese Kanji for demon on my stomach. He flipped me on my back, twisting my arms in a painful way. He began carving something on my back too, but I could tell what he was writing without even having to look at it, he was writing the Japanese Kanji for monster on my back. Tears spilled out of my eyes, as I struggled to keep the sobs from coming out.

He undid the chains and tossed me my clothes.

"Clean yourself up and don't tell Temari about this or you will be in for a lot more pain." He snapped at me, as he picked up all of the plastic wrap that he had spread on the floor. I took a shower cleaning all of the cuts. I looked at my wrists where there were still small cuts. I didn't get scars the only scar I had that stayed was the love symbol. I wrapped bandages around the cuts that Kankuro had made.

It was hard to walk normal, but I managed to so it, Temari couldn't find out about this.

It had been two days since I had seen Gaara, because his sibling refused to let me in to see him, but Tsunade had finally gotten a reply from Suna. We were all standing in here again, but this time Gaara was standing neat Temari and Kankuro.

"They said that they want Gaara to stay here until his problem is fixed and then we can send him back unless he decides he wants to live in Konoha." Tsunade said. Gaara actually raised his head to look at Tsunade, Sunagakure may not know it, but this was actually what Gaara wanted to happen.

I smiled and resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at Temari.

"Come on Gaara I will show you where you will be living," I said, I almost skipped over to the redhead, but I managed to stop myself, Naruto Uzumaki did not skip, unless Gaara wanted me to.

He followed me out the door; he had a small smile on his face.

I looked over at him, "Isn't this great Gaara?" I asked happily.

He nodded, as we made it into my apartment. I moved into the kitchen to get something for him to drink. Shortly after entering it though I heard a crash.

I walked into Naruto's apartment trying my best to walk normal. He quickly moved to one side and trying to follow him I turned. Big mistake on my part, pain shot through my body, as I crashed to the floor. Naruto ran into the living room and rushed over to me.

"Gaara what happened? Are you ok?" Naruto asked me giving me a concerned look. I was clutching my stomach and he must have put two and two together, because he lifted up my shirt and gasped.

"Gaara did you do this to yourself?" He asked hurt seeping into his voice.

I desperately shook my head I didn't want him to think I did.

"Well if you didn't, WHO DID!!!?" His eyes were a deep red, I began shaking, I didn't want Naruto to be mad at me, especially for something I didn't do.

His fist met my face and my head snapped to the side. _'Why did he do that to me?'_ I turned my head around and looked at him, my heart hurt so much. I pushed him off of me and crawled onto the couch burying my face in it. I began to cry and choked sobs broke the silence.

* * *

I ran into the living room after hearing the crash and seeing the redhead on the ground I ran over to him.

"Gaara what happened? Are you ok?" I asked concern seeping into my voice. He was clutching his stomach, so I put two and two together and lifter up his shirt. There were bandages wrapped all over his stomach and back, I saw blood splotches on the bandages.

"Gaara did you do this to yourself?" I asked ... even I could hear the hurt in my voice.

He shook his head and I immediately thought he was lying to me, so my anger got the best of me.

"Well if you didn't Who Did?!" I demanded, I could feel the Kyuubi's charka leaking into my system. He began shaking, but that didn't stop my rage, my fist found his face and his head snapped to the side. There was a giant bruise where I had hit him; his head turned back so he could face me and all I could see in his eyes was hurt. He pushed me off of him and crawled on to the couch, burying his face in it. I heard choked sobs.

The Kyuubi charka quickly left, as I felt my heart start to ache. I had done that to him.

* * *

A/N: Ok that is the end of this chapter, I wrote the next chapter of this one, because I had finally gotten a review for it, thanks to TheCupcakeMonster for that.


	8. Chapter 8

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note.

* * *

Chapter 8

I couldn't move all I could do is watch, as Gaara cried on my couch. I wanted to go over there and apologize to him and hold him in my arms until he was calm enough to tell me what really happened, because now that I had sorted out my thoughts I realized there was no way Gaara would have been able to do that. The cuts were way too neat, if Gaara had done that it would have been sloppy. I wanted to go over to him and comfort him, but I didn't deserve to be able to do that, I had just accused him of something he couldn't have done and then I hit him in my rage. I didn't even deserve to be in the same room as him, but at the same time I knew I shouldn't leave.

I didn't think Gaara would want me to leave though and that is what kept me here, staring at the sobbing redhead on my couch. I started walking towards him, I couldn't keep listening to him cry, because when he was upset it made my heart break.

"Gaara," I whispered, as I reached him. I sat down next to him, resisting the urge to pull him into a gentle embrace.

"Do you want me to stay here? Because if you don't I will leave, do you want me to leave?" I began reaching my hand out, but stopped, I didn't deserve to touch him, or be near him, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to leave Gaara, when he was like this, it just didn't seem right, but I would leave if he told me to.

"You can stay as long as you won't hurt me again," my heart almost shattered into a million pieces at that answer.

"I won't, I promise," I said quietly, as I reached over to him and pulled him into a hug. He cringed slightly, as his back hit my chest.

"Are there cuts on your back too?" I asked, even though I already had a good idea of what the answer would be.

He nodded slightly and I could feel the tears hit my arms.

"Did you clean and bandage them?" He nodded again, I pulled him closer.

"Who did this to you?" I asked him, as I began running a hand through his hair.

There was a long moment of silence when I thought he wouldn't respond, but he eventually did.

"Kankuro did this… Temari left to get some things and Kankuro… did this." He said, his voice starting to crack towards the end.

"I thought siblings were supposed to take care of each other." My eyes narrowed.

"They are supposed to, but …he hates me…" His voice got quieter as he spoke.

"Why?" I knew I should stop asking him so many questions, but my curiosity got the better of me.

He took a deep breath, "Our mother died giving birth to me, I killed our uncle, and he blames me for our father's death," He whispered his voice shaking slightly.

I nodded in my understanding, as I continued to run a hand through his red hair.

Gaara turned around, so he could wrap his arms around me. I knew I didn't deserve to touch the redhead or be touched by him, but this was what Gaara wanted, wasn't it? I began rubbing his back; I knew he was still upset even though he wasn't crying anymore. I hoped he wasn't still upset at me.

* * *

My heart hurt more than when Yashamaru had said that he had hated me despite what he had said before. I was glad Naruto hadn't made any move to leave, because even though he had just hit me, I wouldn't be able stand around like nothing was wrong if he had left me like everyone else. I heard the sound of footsteps and since they were getting closer I assumed he was walking towards me and not away from me, which gave me a little bit of comfort.

"Gaara," he whispered once he was standing right next to the couch.

"Do you want me to stay here? Because if you don't I will leave, do you want me to leave?" I could feel his eyes on me.

"You can stay as long as you won't hurt me again," I said, even though it wasn't true, Naruto could beat me senseless and I would still come crawling back to him. It didn't matter what he did to me I would still come back to him, because I couldn't let go of him, I loved him too much.

"I won't, I promise," He said quietly, as I felt myself being pulled into a hug.

I cringed slightly, as my back hit his chest, which probably made him ask his next question. "Are there cuts on your back too?" I nodded watching some of my tears hit his arm.

"Did you clean and bandage them?" I nodded again, as he pulled me closer to his chest.

"Who did this to you?" He asked as he began running a hand through my hair. I didn't answer him for a while, because I was wondering if I should tell him the truth or not, but eventually I decided I would; I wouldn't get anywhere by lying to Naruto.

"Kankuro did this… Temari left to get some things and Kankuro …did this." I tried to keep my voice steady as I told him who had done this, but it started to crack towards the end.

"I thought siblings were supposed to take care of each other." He said, tightening his grip.

"They are supposed to, but …he hates me…" I explained, my voice lowering into a whisper as I spoke.

"Why?" He asked, as I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably in his arms; that was something I hadn't told anyone, but that was partly, because no one ever cared to ask, they always listened to whatever Kankuro or Temari said, because Kankuro and Temari believed the same thing when it came to this topic.

I took a deep breath, "Our mother died giving birth to me, I killed our uncle, and he blames me for our father's death," I whispered my voice shaking slightly.

I felt him nod, hopefully he believed what I had told him and hopefully he wouldn't ask why I killed my uncle.

Wanting comfort from him I turned around so I could wrap my arms around him. He paused, as I moved and then started rubbing my back in a comforting way. I sighed into him, this was why I would always come back to Naruto, because no matter what he did I never lost my love for him and because of that I would never be able to completely forget him if he hurt me too much and I would never be able to let go of him. My heart would always speed up at the sight of him. He was the one who saved me from the darkness my village tossed me into and the darkness I walked into myself and because he saved me so many times I would always be grateful to him.

* * *

A/N: Ok that is the end of this chapter and possibly the end of the story. What do you guys think? I could add a couple more chapters as long as you give me a couple of suggestions as to what should happen next or I could just end it here, it is up to all of you. Leave reviews telling me what you want or send me a Private Message either way I will be happy that you took the time to tell me what you would like to happen.


	9. Chapter 9

Bleed it Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in anyway, so don't sue me.

Warnings: Blood, Self Abuse, Yaoi, and Lemons, probably.

'_Thoughts'  
_"**Demons Talking"  
**'_Flashbacks'  
_'_**Dreams'  
**_"Talking"  
A/N: Author's Note.

* * *

Chapter 9

"Kankuro… what are you doing?" I asked my brother, eyeing him suspiciously.

"I hate how Naruto actually accepts you… can't he see that you are a no good monster?" Kankuro glared at me.

Kankuro chuckled, "That is fine though …we will see how much he accepts you when you destroy Konoha, the village he loves to no end."

"I would never do that," I snapped.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Kankuro snapped, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. My eyelids grew heavy and suddenly the idea of sleep sounded very good to me.

I heard the distant sound of a door closing, as my eyes finally shut.

* * *

"Naruto wake up!!!" I heard Sakura yell, as the loud knocking on my door continued.

I stood up and frowned, I could've swore that when I fell asleep last night Gaara had been laying on top of me. I shrugged it off, he had probably left to go and do something.

"What is it Sakura?" I asked her after I opened the door.

"Gaara is attacking the village," Sakura said. My eyes widened, why would Gaara be attacking the village? Had he just been playing with me, had this all been a lie?

Anger bubbled up inside of me and suddenly all I all I wanted to do was kick Gaara's ass. I wanted to teach him that he couldn't just toy with my emotions and then throw them right into my face, because if he did that he would pay… dearly.

"Let's go," I growled.

I don't particularly remember what happened when I was fighting the Shukaku, but I do remember that I had gone to the third tail while fighting it, that had really freaked everyone out. I was pissed when I found out that the hospital had actually treated Gaara... I mean since when did we treat people who tried to destroy the village.

"Naruto, the council is about to start discussing what they are going to do with Gaara, are you going to come." Sakura asked looking at me. I nodded; I would not pass up the opportunity to watch Gaara squirm under the piercing stares of the council. The door made a creaking sound as we entered. Gaara and I made eye contact, but his eyes immediately filled with guilt and regret and he turned his head away, never once looking back.

I had never been to one of these before, but apparently while they were discussing what they were going to go about you they acted like you weren't even there, I am guessing the purpose of this is to make you nervous.

"Alright let's begin," Tsunade said.

Danzo slammed his hand on the table, "I say we kill the kid… do you even know how long it will take us to repair this?!"

Tsunade turned towards the redhead, "What do you have to say about this?"

"I know it will take you all a long time to repair and I deserve any punishment you decide on and much more, I let my guard down and because of that Shukaku took over, so this is 100% my fault." Everyone's eyes visibly widened and Gaara lowered his head more.

"I say we sentence him to 5 years in jail." Someone said.

"No, we should just kill him now, he could easily break out of jail and this is the second time he has attacked our village." Danzo snapped.

Tsunade sighed as people began arguing over the two ideas, "Well, since we obviously aren't going to be reaching a decision any time soon you will stay in jail until we reach a decision."

The redhead nodded, as ANBU appeared and took him away.

* * *

I sighed, as I stared at the wall in front of me. I didn't think they would sentence me to death right away; they would make me live my life suffering, instead of giving me relief with death. Kankuro had succeeded when he made me attack Konoha; Naruto hated me now, it showed clearly in his eyes when we had made eye contact. I had lost everything precious to me and there was nothing I could do about it.

I turned around as I heard footsteps coming my way.

I stared into Kankuro's black eyes and he stared right back, a grin already forming onto his face.

He turned to the guard, "You can leave now; he won't do anything stupid."

The guard gave a small shrug and walked back the way he came.

He turned back to me the grin still on his face, "So how are you Gaara?"

* * *

We followed the guard to the cell Gaara was being kept in. I needed to see him, because I needed to give him a piece of my mind and Sakura just came along, because she had nothing better to do. Our guard stopped as another guard met up with us.

"What were you doing?" Our guard asked.

"I was taking Kankuro to see Gaara…" The other guard stated.

"Well I am sure you two can figure out how to get there from here." Our guard said as he followed the other guard out.

We found our way to the place where Gaara was being held and I was about to walk in when Sakura stopped me.

I turned to ask her a question, but she held her finger up to her mouth and then pointed to Kankuro. I nodded realizing that she wanted to listen in on their conversation.

"So how are you Gaara?" Kankuro asked.

* * *

I stared at Kankuro and than smiled, as I sat down on the ground. "You know... now that I think about it, I probably should have just killed myself after dad realized he seriously fucked up, when he made me. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache, but even if I didn't kill myself then I should have killed myself after Yashamaru tried to kill me, but I didn't did I? …No I didn't… I still tried to make myself worthy in some way, but it was no use was it? No matter what I did dad never accepted me as his son, no one ever accepted me, I was just the person no one wanted to ever have around. Even when I tried to change myself after the chunin exams, still no one accepted me. No matter what I did I was never accepted by anyone. And because I had nothing I began cutting myself just so I could feel alive again, just so I could feel something besides the constant aching in my chest, just so the loneliness wouldn't hurt as much. You were always better than me, everyone always loved you, you could throw a giant fit and people would think it was cute, but no matter what I did no one ever saw me as anything other than a weapon or a monster. You like it how I don't have any attention, it makes you feel special, you never wanted me to have anyone who would make the loneliness go away, so when I finally found someone who would accept me you had to take it away, you had to make me attack his birthplace, the place he wants to be leader of. My life was just a big mistake wasn't it? No one ever wanted me and no one ever wanted anyone to want me, so whenever I have something good people have to take it away from me. I hope they decide to sentence me to death, because if they do that I will be able to do at least one thing right… die."

My entire body was numb, I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't move any more. I was frozen. I couldn't breath, I could feel my heartbeat get weaker, _'Maybe I can actually do this by myself… maybe I can actually die this time… maybe… just maybe I can do this one thing right.'_

* * *

I was in total shock by Gaara's speech and apparently Sakura was too. '_Kankuro had made Gaara attack the village and Gaara wanted to die…? And Kankuro had made Gaara attack the village, because he wanted to make me hate Gaara?'_

Kankuro walked away from the cell, but as soon as I could I punched him in the face.

"You are an asshole!" I yelled feeling anger bubble up in me.

He hit the ground and stared up at me in shock, "You heard all of that?"

"Yes I did, and I am glad I did, because now I am going to kick _your _ass and then tell the council what you made Gaara do." I snapped, moving in to hit him again.

One of the guards quickly stopped me, "That is enough; we will discuss what we are going to do with you very soon."

The guard glared at Kankuro.

"Hey guys… Gaara isn't breathing." Sakura said.

I instantly paled and ran over to the cell. A pool of blood was quickly forming under Gaara and his eyes were closed.

The guard ran over to the cell and opened it; shoving Kankuro in and grabbing Gaara. We brought Gaara to the hospital and they immediately brought him into a room where they could perform surgery on him. I sighed, as I sat in the waiting room. _'What would I do if he died now?'_ I buried my face in my hands; his speech kept replaying itself in my head.

Hours passed and I still hadn't heard anything.

Tsunade finally came down, "He is awake… you can go in there now."

* * *

I sighed as I stared at the ceiling… who was I to think that I could actually succeed in something… I couldn't succeed in dying… I couldn't succeed in anything. I rolled over onto my side, as tears started to run down my cheeks. Why couldn't I just die? I couldn't stop sobbing no matter how hard I tried, why did people have to make me suffer more… why wouldn't they just let me die.

* * *

Choked sobs broke the silence of the usual quiet hospital room.

"Gaara…" I whispered. He turned around and looked at me his eyes were filled with misery.

"Why…" he asked; his voice cracking.

"Why what?" I stared at him.

"Why… do you need to make me suffer more?" He stared at me his eyes searching me to find some hidden meaning for me being here.

"I'm… I'm not trying to make you suffer more…" I said quietly.

"Then why?! Why are you here?! If you aren't trying to make me suffer… you have no reason to be here…" He snapped.

"I'm here, because …I love you." I could feel my heart slowly breaking… he didn't trust me any more.

"_You're_ _so_ full of _shit!_" The redhead snapped, glaring at me.

I shook my head, "No it's true… I really do love you…"

"You're lying…" He said.

I shook my head again and pulled him into a hug, "No… I am not… I love you… and I don't ever want to loose you.

* * *

I stared into Naruto's beautiful blue eyes; they showed me nothing, but love.

He smiled at me, "Now let me show you how much I really love you."

I blinked… what did he mean by that? He pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me. '_We're going to do that?'_

He kissed me on the lips; his tongue licked my lip begging for entrance. I opened my mouth and he used that opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth. His mouth explored my mouth; he pushed my tongue begging me to play with him. I began playing with his tongue, desperately trying to please him… I couldn't let him go no matter how much I tried. He pulled away, leaving me to lay there panting.

Naruto pulled the shirt I was wearing off, before attacking my neck. He left bite marks on my neck.

My entire body was tense as he moved further down until he reached the pants I was wearing. He quickly slipped my pants off. He began kissing my thighs and I closed my eyes, as he began licking them.

He planted a kiss on my lips, "Relax Gaara… I won't do anything you don't want me to."

I stared at Naruto, I trusted him I really did, but this just wasn't something I was comfortable doing yet… but I really didn't want to disappoint Naruto, so I'd put up with anything he did.

* * *

I sighed, as Gaara stared at me, there was no way I could stop now… I needed to go through with it. I didn't come prepared to do this, so I didn't have any lubricant, but I couldn't just take him without preparing him… that wouldn't do much for trying to get him to trust me again.

I had never done this before, so I was going on pure instinct. I raised three of my fingers to his face. He stared at me questioningly, but then got the message and began sucking on them. I pulled them out of his mouth and inserted the first finger, he gasped and his body got tense again.

"Relax, just relax." I whispered, as I inserted a second finger. He was so tight, I began scissoring my fingers. I inserted my third finger and continued stretching him. I pulled my fingers out after I thought I had prepared him enough and positioned myself at his entrance.

I pushed myself all the way into him, his hands were gripping the sheets and he was obviously in pain. I stayed still waiting for Gaara to adjust.

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked staring at him.

He shook his head, "No, I am fine just move."

I obeyed and began moving; quickly picking up my pace until I was continuously slamming into him. He was so tight and so hot… it felt so good. Tears of pain were sliding down Gaara's cheeks; I leaned up and kissed them away.

Eventually he began moaning at the same time as me.

"Naruto… I'm going to…" Gaara panted.

He moaned my name as he came and I followed soon after moaning his name. I pulled out and leaned up to kiss him.

"I love you," I whispered kissing the kanji for love on his forehead.

"I love you too," Gaara whispered leaning his head on my chest.

I sighed… by now those words meant nothing, they had been tossed around so carelessly so many times…

I kissed him again, "Don't leave me,"

A small smile graced his lips, "I won't, just don't leave me either."

"I will never leave you," I whispered, as I wrapped my arms around him.

I would never hurt Gaara and I would never leave him… I would be with him forever even when I couldn't hold him like this.

* * *

I sighed; as I listened to the gentle beat of Naruto's heart… it was the best sound I could ever hear… I really did love him and hopefully this time we could do this right… hopefully this time no one would try and tear apart our love.

"I truly love you Uzumaki Naruto," I whispered even though he couldn't hear me.

"I love you to Gaara… and I actually mean that." My eyes widened, as I heard Naruto say that. A small smile tugged at my lips, as I grabbed his hand and entwined our fingers. I felt Naruto gently squeeze my hand, as he kissed the top of my head.

…Naruto was like a drug… a drug that I was already hopelessly addicted to, but it wasn't even like I wanted to let go him… I wouldn't be able to live without him… he is the person that I care about most in the world, he is the person I would never be able to let go of him.

* * *

A/N: That is the end of this story, it could have been better, especially the lemon, I really need to work on those, but hopefully this one was at least decent… I hope you all enjoyed the story and don't forget to tell me what you thought about it in your reviews.


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